A love story with myself, my wife and Avanade
“Gabby, this is Julia. Julia, this is Gabby. You two are Catholic, so talk to each other while I do my stuff,” said a friend of mine, introducing me to a stranger outside of a bar. This was not a topic I would choose to start a conversation with someone I just met, let alone with another queer person.
My love story began 10 years ago, uniting two realms that are often not mixed without pain – at least, from my own experience– which are queerness and religion. But, before we start questioning taboos, here is my story.
Born and raised in Brasília, the capital of Brazil, I am the first generation of my family from that young, modern and ultra-planned city. With only one artificial lake surrounded by unique trees from the Cerrado (Brazilian savanna), Brasília is the cradle of architecture and rock'n'roll – so it’s no surprise I’ve ended up a creative person. Design was the profession I chose, allowing me to translate my passion for art and creativity into solving problems and crafting solutions that were not only aesthetically pleasing but also functional and inclusive. So, I invested my heart and career in it, transitioning from graphic design to digital, and then experiences. Then, it hit me: even though I’ve always been this creative type, some traditional beliefs made me doubt my own identity, worth and soul when I understood that my true romantic connections were with women.
Ten years ago, when I saw Julia’s face for the first time, I reencountered the pain I carried for so many years when religion was at the center of a conversation. And even though I didn’t share much about it that night, I invited her to visit the project I was coordinating back then – the first inclusive group of the Catholic Church in our city.
After seeing her expression shift to surprise and curiosity, we exchanged phone numbers and details about the gathering that was going to happen one month later. Knowing her as I do now, I am certain that a miracle reminded her of that date, time and location. She showed up.
Julia remained static and serious during the entire meeting while the group shared stories, read texts and sang songs about faith, hope and love. By the look on her face, I had no doubt she hated everything –until the final five minutes, when she spoke up after we asked people to share their feedback. She told us that all that experience felt unreal and that it was the first time she felt truly welcome in a spiritual environment.
She was raised in a traditional household, torn between being true to herself and the sin she was told she bore. Those raw emotions were all too familiar, only this time, they had a different voice.
After sharing my own stories with her, we found a deeper connection through our similar hardships and dreams. From painful experiences, a partnership was born, marking the beginning of our shared path toward healing, renewal, freedom and growth.
Since family and tradition weren't the only influences in my life, a new challenge emerged when Julia and I became a couple. Biases and toxic environments led to escalated harassment and derogatory behaviors, including an incident where a coworker discovered I lived “with another woman” and spread the news throughout the department.
In search of a safer environment to grow our family and pursue better opportunities, we decided to immigrate to Canada at the end of 2017.
After almost three and a half years of rebuilding our stories and careers in Canadian lands, my love story with Avanade began. Knowing from the very start that this was an inclusive workspace where diversity is not only valued but celebrated – in all its different ways – made me feel like I won the jackpot of companies. I finally felt completely welcome and safe.
In 2022, Julia and I had the DIY wedding of our dreams. While our friends played a significant part in supporting the logistics, our big day wouldn’t be the same without Avanade's support. I was able to use my extended benefits and Go Team Award points to secure our honeymoon tickets, the beautiful dry flowers for our bridal bouquets and other things. The most special part, though, was not just the pre-wedding surprise party from Prism (Avanade’s LGBTQ+ Employee Network) members but also an incredible virtual card filled with wishes from them and the Experiences team. We didn’t get that kind of celebration from some of the people closest to us.
Avanade also provided me with the resources and platform to advocate for reproductive benefits for all families, leading to the new coverage of fertility treatments for employees in Canada. And that’s not even mentioning other great initiatives I had the opportunity to participate in, like the leadership program for women, mentorship for LGBTQ+ refugees and a multitude of other social initiatives.
These experiences have allowed me to continue contributing to the community while pursuing my passion for art and creativity, by helping others and being connected to a greater cause, ensuring a workplace where other people also feel safe, seen, and heard.
Living freely, without the need to filter my thoughts or words, feels almost like a dream, and seeing the positive effects of inclusive policies so close is truly fulfilling. I could keep writing, trying to explain how inspired and grateful I feel for witnessing real progress and for being an active part of that change. But I prefer to stop here, ending this text with a simple "Thank you, Avanade."
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